The Right School

We knew we had to get her away, but felt helpless as to where and under what conditions. When a therapist suggested Oak Hill, it seemed to fit the bill better than any other. We liked its size and diversity, and its stated mission. Being located near the North Carolina mountains, where I grew up, far away from urban freedoms and temptations, was another plus. Other than that, we knew very little, which is where the praying comes in. She hated the thought of leaving home; we hated the thought of her going so far away. It was a miserable Christmas!

When we arrived, we were impressed, among other things, Emma and her family, OHA Graudation 2006. by the clear rules laid out by the Academy President, Dr. Mi-chael Groves. It also seemed that he and the faculty truly believed in the basic goodness of their charges and had created an environ-ment in which they could thrive. Nevertheless, I cried all the way home and many more times after talking to my unhappy child. She did not, however, do any of those things which could get her expelled. She stayed and began to flourish and learn. When the children you adore are struggling, you put one foot in front of the other and pray that you are doing the right thing. That is what we did for our daughter when her life began spiraling out of control in the middle of her sophomore year in our local public high school, a school well known for its excellent academic program, but as with most public schools, unable to deal with those students who do not fit the mold. model student. As with all of us in our teen years, she was searching for her identity, a task made more difficult in her case by the fact that she is Hispanic, adopted as a baby into our white family. As anyone familiar with adoption knows, entering a family as a baby avoids none of the sadness and sense of loss that come with increas-ing maturity and understanding. In her struggle to understand where she belonged in society, she aligned herself with others who felt Emma had always been a alienated and rebellious.

Emma developed close relationships with her wonderful and dedicated teachers, who provided much-needed support, rules for conduct, love and encouragement. By the time she graduated, she saw herself as the smart, competent young woman she had become, one who could face the larger world with confidence.

After Emma left Oak Hill, I wrote Dr. Groves: Emma finished her first year in a large, difficult school with solid grades. We worried about how she would be able to transition from your tiny, intimate school to a large, impersonal college setting. We need not have. The close relationships she developed with her teachers at Oak Hill gave her the confidence she needed to make her own way, to sit in the first rows, to engage the teachers, in general to advocate for herself. We are immensely grateful to you and everyone there, not just for her academic education, but for the close friendships and solid values that enabled her to grow from a frustrated 15-year-old into the poised and thoughtful young woman she is today. We sent her to you in blind faith, and you gave her the mixture of discipline, structure, care and love that she needed to blossom. Emma has been such a delight to have near home this year that we can almost forget the heartache of having her so far away.Thank you!!!

Terry Dyroff and Patricia Darsie

Emma is a sophomore at The University of Maryland, College Park.